It's Always the Quiet Ones
by ArminArlelt
Summary: -REQUEST BY Creekluver777- Fed up with Red's morbid behavior, Marth enlists Link, Pit, Snake, and Ike to try and get a reaction out of the quiet Pokemon trainer. This can only go well. Implied Yaoi/Shonen-ai.


**Hello everyone! This is a request by Creekluver777 :) She wrote me a story in return, and I highly recommend that you read it :)**

**WARNINGS: Implied yaoi at the end and two curse words.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Super Smash Brothers, or any of the characters mentioned in this story. I also do NOT own Call of the Wild; all rights go to Jack London. The paragraphs that Red reads in this story are from chapters one, two, three, four, and five, in that order.**

**Anyway, on with the story!~**

(-)

Pokemon trainer Red was not a social person. Some argued whether he was even a person at all, but rather a hollow shell that only spoke when spoken to – and that was a great feat to accomplish – and came and went on and off of the battlefield. He hardly ever showed any form of emotion – sadness, happiness, anger, pity, embarrassment, disappointment, worry, you name it; and the '_hardly _ever' came from that quick flash of intensity that raced across his face when commanding his Pokemon in a brawl.

Today, however, five smashers had gathered to change this streak.

"Okay, I assume you all know why you're here," Marth stood at the head of the small group, face set in determination as he looked across the other's own. Ike's cadence seemed to be anything but interested, Pit was about to fall out of his seat in anticipation, Snake was on the same boat as the mercenary, and Link sat in his seat quietly, a mixture of curiosity and simple loyalty to his best friend the only thing keeping him from leaving. Marth almost sweat-dropped at the less-than-enthusiastic group, save for Pit.

"Actually, no. Why are we here?" Ike asked boredly, propping his arms behind him on the frilly plush seats he was forced to sit upon during the meeting. Marth glared at the mercenary, finally rolling his eyes and stepping to the side to reveal a large-scale dry-erase board which perceived a rather poorly drawn – but still recognizable – stick-figure of the morbid Pokemon trainer. Beside him were more personages of the five gathered in the room, different scrawled shapes and phrases lined under each one. Ike quirked an eyebrow.

"Does that answer your question?" Marth asked rhetorically, seeming to be a little shocked when the taller bluenette sighed and shook his head slowly, indicating a 'no'. Marth growled angrily. "Idiot! It's obviously us trying to get a reaction out of Red! What do you not understand?"

Ike chuckled deeply.

"Okay, first, you really should take art lessons, because that garbled mess looks like it was drawn by a two-year-old. And second, what's this big obsession with trying to make Red react to something? If the guy likes to keep to himself, I say let him. It's not my problem," Ike paused to grin at the prince's angry expression, "or yours."

"I don't care!" Marth hollered, making Link – who had been about to doze off – almost fall out of his chair in surprise, "I'm just sick of that guy looking like his best friend died! I want to prove to him that actually showing emotion is a lot better than moping around the mansion and only coming out of his cave-of-a-room to eat or battle!"

Ike sighed. He might as well just go along with this, since the hot-headed noble wasn't one to listen to reason.

"Fine, fine," Ike raised his hands as if to defend himself from any further verbal abuse, "What do you want us to do?"

Marth seemed to relax then, emotions eased now that his only opposition was out of the way and on his side.

"Well, I've devised different plans for all five of us, suited to each of our prowesses and abilities," Marth explained, finger hovering over each figure on the board as he talked. It came to rest over Red's. "Now, here is Red. At this time of day, he comes out of his room to read in the living room since everyone is _supposed _to be outside for lunch break. This will be the perfect time to enact our plan since, as previously stated, everyone will be gone, giving us the perfect window to have Red all alone."

Marth paused as he heard Snake let out a gruff chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Marth sneered. Snake 'chh'ed and pointed to the board.

"And you felt the need to write all of this on a dry-erase board, why..?" Snake asked, earning an agreeing bout of laughter from Ike who was seated next to him and a deadly glare from the prince.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER! Just let me finish!" Marth huffed and muttered something about 'imbeciles' before taking a calming breath and turning back to the board in question.

"Yeah, let him finish!" Pit cut in, shushing the two who were still snickering and then turning with excited eyes towards the prince, "What do we do, Prince Marth?"

Marth smiled gratefully at the angel, his renewed self-confidence showing through his posture.

"Okay, to start out, I have listed five different forms of emotion; Warai – meaning mirth – Utsubyō – meaning depression – Dōjō – meaning pity – Kyōfu – meaning fear – and Kankō – meaning attraction.(1)" He pointed to the first figure on the board; himself. "And, as stated, I've laid out specific guidelines for each of us prior to talent. We will each have ten minutes to tackle an emotion since Red remains in the living room for exactly one hour. We will have an extra ten minutes to come back to the meeting room and pick a new emotion, two minutes for each meeting in between," his finger then drifted to the words under his personage, "And as the leader of this mission, I'll go first. I will try to get him to laugh by telling him jokes."

Marth smiled, seeming to be proud of himself until a sudden throng of laughter made him turn his attention to the source with a grimace.

"You might as well save your breath, princey," Ike deadpanned, "You're about as funny as a fence post."

Marth blushed with embarrassment, a growl escaping through his clenched teeth.

"I am funny!" Marth almost yelled, "You just wait! I'll have him _rolling _by the time I'm done with him!" Ike and Snake just turned to each other with a knowing smirk, making the prince growl in irritation once again. However, instead of unleashing his wrath on the two poor souls, he simply took a deep breath and counted to himself quietly before releasing it, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, we shall meet back in this room in exactly ten minutes, and depending on whether I am successful or not will determine who goes next and which emotion you decide to challenge," Marth paused, turning and slamming a hand on the dry-erase board, making each of the four heads pop up in surprise, "Now, let's do this!"

(-)

_I_

_Into the Primitive_

"_Old longings nomadic leap,_

_Chafing at custom's chain;_

_Again from its brumal sleep_

_Wakens the ferine strain."_

_Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every tide-water dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to San Diego. Because of men, groping in the Arctic darkness, had found a yellow metal, and because steamship and transportation companies were booming the find, thousands of men were_-

"Good evening, Red!" came a voice, and the intrusion caused the boy in question to stop in his reading mid-sentence. Appropriately-named, Red's equally red eyes(2) flickered up to his new companion in the otherwise empty room and then instantly narrowed.

"Hello," Red deadpanned, shifting his gaze from the annoying prince to his current reading. The prince in question glared at the unsocial attitude, however it was gone as quickly as it had come as he smiled brightly and took a seat next to the trainer, making the cushion wobble a little. Red's eyes once again flitted from his book to the bluenette and then back again. Marth half-expected him to say something – even if it was something as trivial as 'why are you sitting by me?'

_Che, should've seen that coming... _Marth thought dryly.

"So, Red, would you like to hear a joke?" Marth asked hopefully. This time, Red's gaze shifted wholly on the bluenette, and his red eyes coupled with that intense, unwavering stare almost made Marth flinch. He quickly shook off the cold feeling, however, and continued smiling, expecting some kind of answer. But Red just sat there, staring at the prince with a cadence that clearly told him that he didn't want to be bothered with such ridiculous notions.

"No," was the firm answer after the trainer realized that Marth couldn't be chased off with his signature glare. Marth huffed as he watched the boy turn back to his book at an almost trained movement.

"Oh, come on, just humor me," Marth pleaded, but it was all in vain as the only response he got was a quick blink of Red's eyes as they scanned over each word in each sentence of each paragraph. This still didn't deter Marth, however, as he had prepared for the cold shoulder from the boy. So, he decided to just tell the joke and see if he could get a reaction from him on way or the other.

_Even if he gets angry or irate with me, I'll have accomplished my mission... _Marth thought slyly, smiling as he shifted around in his mind for the perfect, sure-fire laugh-inducing joke. _Oh! I've got it!_

"Well, just listen anyway, you'll get a real kick out of this. Okay, here it goes:

Bob was in real trouble. He had forgotten his wedding anniversary. His wife was extremely upset and told him the day before, 'Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE OR ELSE!' So, the next morning, Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house, and unwrapped it. Inside, she found a brand new bathroom scale!"

As Marth finished the joke, he erupted with laughter, clutching his stomach and laughing heartily while Red only sat there morbidly, still reading his book with the focus of an architect. Marth wiped a tear of mirth from the side of his eye, his vision clearing and finally able to see Red's reaction, or lack-thereof. The trainer only blinked and continued to scan the page with his sharp eyes, making Marth sigh and rise from the couch, defeated.

His ten minutes were almost up, anyway.

(-)

As instructed, all four smashers were gathered in the meeting room (though in reality in was only the cafeteria, Marth had deemed it such) ten minutes later, waiting for the prince to return with the report.

"Do you think he did it?" Link asked Ike, who regarded him smugly. He laughed and patted Link's blond head as if saying 'oh, you silly little child'.

"No way! I'll eat my sword whole if that idiot comes back successful!" Ike chuckled.

"Well, then you better start figuring out what emotion you're going to pick," Snake remarked, pointing to the board still perched at the head of the room, "'cause it looks like you're next on the hit-list."

Ike almost waved off the suggestion, though he did decide it would be a good idea to prepare instead of one being forced upon him. He surely didn't want to risk being stuck with attraction...

"Okay, let's see..." Ike scanned the remaining words on the board, the only one crossed-out being Warai. "I think I'll take...Kyōfu."

"Fear?" Link asked, looking questioningly at the mercenary, "Why would you pick that one?"

Ike chuckled at his naiveté.

"Because it's fun to scare people, that's why," Ike responded simply, "And if I have to participate in this ridiculous mind game, I might as well have some fun, too."

Link blinked, not quite understanding how it could possibly be fun to see someone in terror, but was unable to question it as a certain disgruntled prince entered the room and commanded full attention.

"Oh, Prince Marth! How did it go?" Pit jumped up from his seat excitedly, fluttering over to Marth in anticipation. Marth hated to crush such a vigorous greeting, but there was no use trying to get around it. He had failed.

"Not so well, Pit," Marth sighed, dragging over to the front of the room and in front of the other smashers. Pit blinked and followed after, taking his seat and waiting eagerly for Marth to explain.

"Well, by the look on your face, I assume everything went great, Red busted a gut, and we can all leave and forget this ever happened?" Ike questioned sarcastically, making Marth glare at the mercenary for the fifth time that morning.

"I've got no time for your sarcasm, Ike," Marth stated firmly, turning exasperatedly towards the dry-erase board. "Besides, you're next on the list. What is your choice?"

Ike stood up and straightened out his shirt and then stretched his arms.

"I pick Kyōfu," Ike stated, turning and walking smoothly out of the cafeteria's doorway, "Might as well get this over with..."

(-)

_II_

_The Law of Club and Fang_

_Buck's first day on the Dyea beach was like a nightmare. Every hour was filled with shock and surprise. He had been suddenly jerked from the heart of civilization and flung into the heart of things primordial. No lazy, sun-kissed life was this, with nothing to do but loaf and be bored. Here was neither peace, nor rest, nor a moment's safety. All was confusion and action, and every moment life and limb were in peril. There was imperative need to_-

Suddenly, the lights in the room went out, impairing Red's vision from the sudden adjust in lighting and causing him to stop in his reading once again.

_Ugh... what now?_

Lowering his book and taking a livid glance around the room after his eyes had some-what shifted, he saw nothing, only heard a soft thumping coming from somewhere in the hallway. He couldn't see anything immediately, since the only light source in the room was the eerie casting of light streaming from the lone window that adorned the wall.

Red's sharp ruby eyes darted around every corner, looking for the source of the thumping noise that continued to echo around the room. The thumping got heavier in metaphorical accompaniment to Red's apprehension, though no emotion other than annoyance showed on the trainer's face. He had faced many killer Pokemon and countless violent trainers who hadn't taken their losses so well while atop Mt. Silver, so there was no way he would be scared of anything less than an assassin sent to end his life, and even then it would take torturous efforts to make him even consider being afraid.

"_Red..._" came a wispy voice that drifted through the room eerily, making a shiver rack Red's frame. The air had adopted an unnatural chill, and an odd mist suddenly hazed the room, making Red's vision even foggier. His sharp red eyes narrowed through the ghostly darkness as he saw a silhouette seemingly appear out of nowhere, coming to form in the threshold of the hallway.

Said form was dressed haphazardly in torn gray robes, hanging loosely in tatters around the body that possessed them. An old, flame-scorched rope was tied around the waist area, the frayed ends hanging unevenly passed the figure's knees. A hood was draped over the face of the 'ghost', shadowing all but a dim blue light that shined in the place of a left eye and a shock of navy-blue hair that peeked out slightly from underneath the rim.

"_Red..._" the voice repeated to the still form of the Pokemon trainer, "_I have come... to take your life..._"

Red stared boredly at the figure in front of him, and it suddenly flashed through his mind vaguely that he had left all of his Pokemon back in his room, so he had no way of protecting himself if need-be. And obviously, need-be.

Monotonously, the figure guided a hand towards a fold in the robe, reaching inside slowly and then teasingly removing a sharp-bladed knife from it's hiding spot, being sure to let what little light that flooded into the room glint off of the dagger. Red's heart-beat rose slightly, but his face, nor his eyes, showed anything other than malice.

_This is all a big hoax. Master Hand allows no one other than brawlers in the mansion walls, and any intrusion he would've already sensed, _Red thought as his eyes narrowed challengingly.

"Fine. Do it," the Pokemon trainer deadpanned, leaning back on the sofa and crossing his legs across the wooden footstool that thronged each end of the couch. The figure seemed to flinch slightly, and if it were anyone else but Red, the acute action may have went unnoticed. Not expecting this response but gaining his composure back quickly, the 'ghost' starting walking – almost gliding – to where Red sat leisurely, awaiting the forewarned 'death'.

"_As you wish, foolish human..._" the figure loomed, getting ever-closer to the trainer's unmoving and unwavering form. Red only sat in wait, easily letting a sigh of annoyance slip through his lips as this charade continued to interfere with his reading. It took several moments before the 'ghost' was hovering over the other's body, the dagger inching closer and closer to the soft skin around Red's neck. There, the figure paused, and Red looked straight in to it's face, though it was still shrouded by the hood and the thick blanket of darkness that stilled the room, and therefore, kept it incognizance.

"Well? Do it," Red commanded, his face, however, still set in it's unamused position. The figure was still, as if waiting for something, and after another moment passed without a movement from either force, the figure sighed and moved away from the trainer's neck.

Red almost smirked. Almost.

"Dude, how were you _not _freaked out?" the figure spoke normally this time, and Red finally recognized it as the voice of the blue-haired mercenary. Said mercenary flipped back the hood, revealing a Technicolor LED flashlight strapped like an eye-patch to the left side of his face and a black, skin-tight ski-mask covering the vast majority of the rest of it. Removing both articles, Ike went back to the hallway and flipped on the light-switch, at the same time flicking off the fog machine that he had 'borrowed' from the drama department. He returned to Red and raised an eyebrow, seeing that the trainer was now bent on finding the page he had left off on.

"You are _hopeless_!" Ike sighed as he turned to leave the room, his ghostly tattered robes trailing shamefully behind him.

(-)

"How do you think Ike is doing?" Pit asked once Marth, Link, and Snake had all gathered back in the meeting room/cafeteria. Marth made a bemused sound at the question, taking out a watch from seemingly nowhere and looking at the minute hand as it slowly made it's way around the face of the clock.

"Probably not any better me," Marth said smugly, "But whatever he's up to, he should be coming back any minute now. His time is almost-"

"I'm back..." came a tired voice from the doorway. All four heads turned to see the mercenary drag back into the room – now dressed back in his normal garb – and plop down in his designated seat with a heavy sigh. Marth smirked.

"Not as easy as it seemed, huh?" Marth questioned matter-of-factly, his smirk widening as the taller bluenette fixed a glare on him.

"There's no getting through to that guy!" Ike nearly yelled as he rested his face in his hands, making his voice come out a bit muffled, "I threatened to killhim, guys. _Kill him_. And he never even _flinched_!"

Both the angel's and the Hylian's eyes widened at Ike's report, but Marth only laughed.

"Well, since you've obviously failed, who's next?" Marth questioned, looking to the board at the front of the room to see the next name, "Ah, Snake! You're up!"

Said brunette looked at the prince in irritation, mumbling something to the effect of 'why the hell am I even a part of this' as he rose from his chair and scanned over the list of available emotions, with Kyōfu now being crossed-out.

"I guess I'll take Utsubyō," Snake sighed, going up to the board and crossing the word out as Ike chuckled.

"I'm sure if anyone can depress Red, it'd be you, Snake," Ike mocked, the spy only turning a smirk in his direction as he exited the room.

"Damn straight."

(-)

_III_

_The Dominant Primordial Beast_

_The dominant primordial beast was strong in Buck, and under the fierce conditions of trail life it grew and grew. Yet it was a secret growth. His new-born cunning gave him poise and control. He was too busy adjusting himself to the new life to feel at ease, and not only did he not pick fights, but he avoided __them whenever possible. A certain deliberateness characterized his attitude. He was not prone to_-

"Hey." yet another voice interrupted Red mid-sentence, making the trainer shift his gaze slowly up to the cause of it.

"What," came the irate response, the cadence of the answer anything but curious. The spy sauntered over to the seat next to Red, taking a seat by the trainer and leaning back on the cushioned headboard.

"Nothing," was the answer Red received, and the actions that followed it seemed to be just that, so the Pokemon master went back to his book. However, only a moment of silence later, "I'm just here to depress you."

Red faltered at this.

_The heck?_

Red turned his still-stoic face towards the man beside him, looking almost curious. Almost.

Snake smirked.

"Well, this is my story:

I have been on the battlefield for most of my life. A hardened veteran, I am, and my emotions – much like yours – buried very deep inside myself. Every one of my missions has had different motives; while I consider myself a soldier, only Operation: Intrude N313 saw me act for the simple fact that it was an order, while Operation: Intrude F014 was to avoid a world energy and nuclear crisis. But even at the early stages of my life, I already showed an indomitable will and courage. As for later in life, my beliefs were the only thing driving me. However, I have also committed some criminal acts in war, with Colonel Campbell mentioning that I committed enough crimes for me to serve jail time until I was a 'very old man.'

"I am, as described by my acquaintances, a full-fledged, complex, and memorable character. I'll admit; am a loner, and with no intentions of taking orders from anyone anymore, I am in no sense of the word 'longing' for the army or the country I was part of. I only accept the mission for the thrill of the fight and to return a favor to Campbell, not to serve my part in war.

"During my infiltration into Shadow Moses, I turned some-what cold-hearted, analytical, and had a clear view of my role as a mercenary. Along with these traits, however, I do have a more human side; being flirtatious, self-sacrificing, and with a strong belief that, even on a battlefield, friendship and love can flourish, and that violence is not glorious. Although the last bit is debatable due to statements from my enemies - and at least one of my allies - that I might enjoy all the killing, even being labeled as being truly evil at one point. Ludicrous, if you ask me.

"Even later down the road, I grew to be more relaxed, openly liking having my very own orders. I loved always being one step ahead of Raiden – who hails me as a hero and a legend – which I openly dismiss. However, I still expressed my cold nature, such as having nothing to feel about SEAL Team 10's deaths at the hands of Dead Cell, causing Raiden to chastise me as a result, especially when they were technically his allies.

"I've always had a strong friendship with Otacon, stating that only my beliefs got me in the mission, citing Gray Fox's sacrifice as a result of this. I had much more hope than in Shadow Moses, and with an optimistic, philosophical view of life, I regained my personal purpose.

"In my final mission before transferring here, I, now grown older, had only my willpower for fulfilling what I felt was duty driving me. While still, maybe even more than before, believing that I am – in no way – a hero, I was full of compassion for my fellows. I still had some sense of humor, and my courage enabled me to endure inhuman punishments to accomplish my duty.

"At the end of this mission, I found some peace, and vowed to live long enough to see what the future holds for the world I helped to build. That's how I ended up here."

Snake had spoken his entire monologue in the same tone, only raising or lowering his voice to emphasize more important parts of his story. Red had listened through the whole thing quietly, while still absorbed in his own book. Snake looked towards the trainer for any form of emotion, but realized that his face showed no trace of anything other than mild indifference.

With a sigh, Snake rose from his seat, noting that his time was now up.

(-)

"Surely Snake won't fail," Link commented to the other three now gathered in the 'meeting room'. "He never does anything without completing it to the best of his ability."

Ike smirked at the Hylian's words.

"You put too much faith in him, Link," Ike remarked dryly, "Remember; this is Red we're talking about."

"Yes, but this is also _Snake _we're talking about. He's never failed," Link retorted as he cast a side-long glance at the door, waiting for the spy to return. The other two heads turned as the bearded man returned through the door he had exited from, looking just as melancholy and defeated as the previous contestants had. Link frowned.

"No luck, huh?" Marth asked rhetorically, already knowing his answer by the look on the man's face. Snake fixed a glare on the prince.

"Shove it, pretty boy. I'm not in the mood for your castigation. Besides, it's not like you did any better," Snake hissed, plopping roughly in a spare chair and rubbing a hand over his fuzzy face. Ike quirked an eyebrow at the other mercenary.

"Gee, Snake, it looks like you're more depressed that you were trying to get Red to be," Ike commented, observing the stressed features that adorned the man's face. Snake nodded only slightly, the action seeming to not even be conscious.

"Let's just say... It was a little difficult to relive the past..." the spy drawled, his chin now resting in his hands as he looked tiredly that the taller bluenette. Ike nodded in understanding, now turning to the ever-shrinking list on the dry-erase board.

"Well, whose next?" the mercenary asked, looking at the two remaining emotions and then that the two remaining smashers seated side-by-side. Pit perked up instantly, waving a frantic hand around in the air while practically bouncing in his seat.

"Oh!~ Me!~ Me next!~" Pit chorused. Ike nodded and Pit giggled happily, fluttering up to the board and looking quizzically at the choices before him. "Hm..."

Link's emotions, meanwhile, were crashing around in his stomach like tidal waves. Why had he agreed to this?-! The only two choices left were pity and attraction, and if Pit picked Dōjō then that meant...

"I pick Dōjō!" Pit announced proudly, like he had just solved the most complicated problem in the universe. Marth propped his chin in his hand much like Snake had, the other gesturing towards the door.

"Go for it, Pit," Marth deadpanned, displeased and anything but optimistic after three of them had failed, "Good luck."

Pit nodded happily, racing out the doors to the cafeteria and to the room where the trainer unknowingly awaited his next form of torture.

(-)

_IV_

_Who Has Won to Mastership_

"_Eh? Wot I say? I spik true w'en I say dat Buck two devils."_

_This was Francois's speech next morning when he discovered Spitz missing and Buck covered with wounds. He drew him to the fire and by its light pointed them out._

"_Dat Spitz fight lak hell," said Perrault, as he surveyed the gaping rips and cuts._

"_An' dat Buck fight lak two hells," was Francois's answer. "An' now we make good time. No more Spitz, no more trouble, sure."_

_While Perrault packed up the camp outfit and loaded the sled, the dog-driver proceeded to_-

"AACKK!" came a startled cry, once _again _causing Red to stop his reading. He looked up with mild – almost unrecognizable – curiosity over the top of his book, taking in the scene before him.

The angel – Pit, that was his name – was sprawled out on the floor a few feet from the couch, holding one of his knees close to his chest and clenching his eyes tightly shut. Tears pricked at the very corners of the sky-blue orbs, one even escaping from underneath the eyelid. As he straightened himself up a bit, he cried out again and then shrunk up into an even tighter ball, shaking with what seemed to be pain. Red's eyebrow twitched slightly in annoyance at yet _another _intrusion, but nonetheless couldn't help but feel the need to check on the angel.

_Courtesy code, after all, _Red reminded himself as he lowered his book which was the only barrier between him and the real world.

"Are you okay?" Red asked, but still no trace of emotion showed through in his voice, an even the cadence of question was barely traceable. Pit smirked inwardly.

_I've got him now..._

Pit looked up at the trainer with fake crocodile tears, sniffling a bit and holding his knee tightly.

"R-red...my knee hurts!" Pit wailed, crying harder, "Help me!"

Red blinked indifferently as he didn't even seem to _consider _going to the angel's aid. Not even moving except to bring the book back to it's previous position, Red sighed.

"First of all, Pit, I know for a fact that you are not as clumsy as to trip over thin air. Second, you hardly ever _walk _anywhere; you prefer flying. Third, if I remember correctly, angels heal faster than humans do, so this shouldn't be a problem for you. However, if you are truly hurt and feel the need to get medical attention, Dr. Mario's office is down the hall to the left of the cafeteria," Red continued morbidly, never even looking up from his book or breaking his concentration, "Now, if you will be so kind as to leave me to my reading, it will be much appreciated."

Pit's mouth had fell agape about half-way through Red's speech, sitting there numbly and completely forgetting his previous acting role. Without another word, Pit shook his head to clear his shock and then rose from the floor with a sigh, waving his wings slowly to creating a whirlwind and lift him off of the ground to where he was hovering just above it. Floating out of the room slowly, he realized by looking at the large grandfather clock in the hallway that he had barely even used five minutes of his time, having been shot down so quickly.

Back in the living room, Red almost smirked. Almost.

(-)

Surprisingly, when Pit had made it back to the meeting room, the other four smashers had already arrived, despite only six minutes of his time being passed.

"What are you guys doing here? I haven't even used all ten minutes!" Pit exclaimed, making the other four heads turn to him boredly. Marth chuckled a bit.

"I figured that if Ike, Snake, and I couldn't get a reaction out of him, you couldn't either, so I proposed we all just wait here," Marth chided, making Pit sneer at him and stick out his tongue childishly. Sighing, then, and dragging over to his seat next to Link – who, oddly, looked like he was about to pass out – Pit sat down and looked at the three to his right.

"Well, what's left?" the angel asked, and all four pairs of eyes shifted to look up at the board and to the only remaining word that hadn't been crossed-out.

Kankō.

Marth, Ike, Snake, and Pit all smirked, turning their amused looks towards the very end of the isle. Link looked back at them nervously, shrinking back into his seat as far as humanly possible.

"Well, Link, it looks like it's all up to you," Marth said smugly, "And you have to take on _attraction_."

Link flinched at the word.

_I have to get out of this!_

"But...b-but what do I do? Red doesn't...l-like me. We don't even know if he-" Link paused and swallowed his nervousness, "_swings that way_."

Marth chuckled, "It doesn't matter. If he doesn't already, he'll definitely be _swinging that way _once we're done with you."

Link gulped.

"W-what do you mean?"

Marth stood up and whispered in both the brunette's and the other bluenette's ear, commanding them silently to do different tasks while Link sat shaking, anxiety freezing him to his seat. He took in a quick gasp of air as eight multi-colored eyes turned to him with evenly distributed deviousness.

"Let's do this, guys," Marth stated, "We've only got four minutes."

(-)

_V_

_The Toil of Trace and Trail_

_Thirty days from the time it left Dawson, the Salt Water Mail, with Buck and his mates at the fore, arrived at Skaguay. They were in a wretched state, worn out and worn down. Buck's one hundred and forty pounds had dwindled to one hundred and fifteen. The rest of his mates, though lighter dogs, had relatively lost more weight than he. Pike, the malingerer, who, in his lifetime of deceit, had often_-

"R-red?" came a meek voice from the threshold of the hallway, marking the fifth time that day the Pokemon trainer had been interrupted from his reading. Surprisingly, he remained calm despite this, but he never lowered his book, however.

"What," Red deadpanned once again, trying to place the person that the voice belonged to.

_So far, Marth, Ike, Snake, and Pit have bothered me with their charades this afternoon. Who hangs out with them?_

"U-um, w-w-would you mind..." the shaky voice paused, "l-looking up for a moment?"

_Link, _Red concluded with a sigh. He didn't harbor any particular hatred for the boy, but he was a bit exasperated by the fact that Link would be the hardest to shoot down, being so fragile. Emotionally, anyway. _I'll humor him, I suppose._

"What is it, Li-" Red paused mid-sentence. Of his own accord, this time.

Standing in front of him, blushing intensely and bright blue eyes looking anywhere but the contrasting red ones of the Pokemon trainer, was Link, but he wasn't dressed in his normal attire. His signature green tunic was still recognizable, but the bottom had been hemmed off and just _barely _kept his rear covered. The brown leather belts that were usually strapped around his body to hold his weapons in place were strapped around his neck and waist area, the former having a bright red bow tied around it to accessorize the 'collar' and the latter used as it's deemed purpose, but it was hugged closer to his body, making his already slim form appear even smaller. He wore his familiar brown boots that matched his belts and accessories to a 'T', and on top of his head was a pair of kitty ears, the insides pink and the fur around it blond to give it the appearance that it was actually part of his body instead of just a clichéd headdress.

Link. Looked. _**Adorable**_.

"Link, what are you wearing," Red asked with no inflection of a question, trying to keep any trace of emotion from his face. It was hard to keep the blood in his body circulating properly to his brain since most of it was preoccupied rushing to either his nose or groin.

"U-um, I-I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, I just t-thought that it was..." Link gulped, placing an 'innocent' finger to his lips and looking to Red with his best doe eyes, "cute..?"

Something in Red snapped. Something that had been tied so tightly for so many years that he thought no one would ever be able to break it.

Closing his eyes and his book, he placed the paperback on the couch next to him and then took a deep breath.

"Link," the hero flinched, "Come here."

Shaking in fear and swallowing heavily, Link inched towards the Pokemon master, afraid of what the boy might do to him since he was probably already on edge from all the bothersome interruptions that had bombarded him that day. As he got close enough to where the brunette could touch him if he wanted to – _and he really wanted to –_ he froze as he awaited what was to come.

"W-what is it-" The hero let out an adorable squeak as Red grabbed his hand and pulled the blond onto his lap, Link falling and hitting the trainer's chest as a cushion. He opened his blue eyes slowly, raising up a bit from where he was positioned – as far as he could since Red had his arms tightened around his barely-covered hips like a hydrological-press - and looked into the Pokemon master's eyes questioningly.

"Don't look at me like you didn't know what you were doing," Red whispered in Link's long ear, making the hero shudder, "You didn't expect to come in here dressed like that and not get some kind of reaction, did you?"

Link blushed intensely, his heart-beat speeding up.

And Red smirked.

(-)

"Man, he put his ten minutes to good use, huh?" Snake commented as he heard the moans coming from Red's dorm room.

"Ten minutes? They've been at it for a whole hour," Pit paused and blushed when he heard a particularly loud moan from Link that sounded similar to Red's name. "And they don't sound like they're going to stop any time soon."

"Hey, you can question my methods, but you can't question my results," Marth smirked proudly and Ike rolled his eyes at the prince.

"It's always the quiet ones."

(-)

**Well, there you have it! A long, ridiculous one shot that I'm really not too proud of -_- I hope I didn't do too horribly, though, since I was trying to do at least a semi-decent job for Creekluver777. Well, despite the awful ending, I hope this was at least a little bit entertaining ^^**

**(1) These are all just Disappointment, Pity, Depression, Attraction, and Mirth in Japanese. They aren't anything particularly special, but I've recently started to get half-way good at Japanese, so I thought it would be fun to throw in a little of what I've been learning :)**

**(2) I know that Red doesn't really have red eyes in Super Smash Brothers: Brawl, or possibly anywhere else, but I knew that Creekluver777 preferred him with red eyes so I decided that it would be a nice addition :)**

**I also didn't write Snake's whole story. I had to get all the information off of Wikipedia :)**

**Hope you enjoyed!**

**~Dawn.**


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